Family, Friendship, Reflections

Make new friends but keep the old…

Last night as we sat by the fire and enjoyed a quiet New Year’s Eve at home Don and I were talking about the year just ending and were struck by how many connections with family and friends were rekindled throughout the year…which was truly amazing in hindsight.

Early in the year Don’s childhood friend found him on Facebook, and we have since enjoyed a couple of get-togethers with Ted and his wife, who now live only an hour or so away from us.  Don and Ted had not seen each other since they were 11 years old!  Ted’s mother was an artist and we have long had a small photocopy of a painting that she made of Gould’s Landing, the family home in Maine, displayed in our home.  Ted gifted Don with the original painting, which now has pride of place in our living room and brings Don great joy.

Then, after a gap of several years, we reconnected with Don’s maternal cousin Chuck and his wife Michelle, and then caught up with several members of Don’s extended family at Chuck’s 80th birthday celebration in May.

In June we were in Maine and spent time with several friends from Don’s young adulthood and with extended family that we had not seen in many years.  It is amazing how you can pick up without losing a beat!

By total coincidence we also bumped into the son of Don’s favorite cousin, and long-deceased cousin) when we stopped by Gould’s Landing (now a public park) on the spur of the moment, and Don struck up a conversation with two guys pulling a boat out of the water…one of whom was Rob Gould, who Don used to babysit when he was a college student! Don and Rob have since connected on Facebook, and we look forward to spending some time with him when we are next in Maine.

July saw us hosting a “mini reunion” when the sons of another of Don’s cousins visited us.  We had connected with Josh and his wife Rita several years ago (again through the miracle of Facebook), but Don had not seen Scot in several decades and I had never met him.  We had a fun afternoon of visiting and reminiscing while Josh and Rita’s kids enjoyed the beach and the pool.

We also had a visit in July from our friend Logan from Australia, who we hadn’t seen for about 10 years.

In August the sad occasion of my Aunt Lydia’s memorial service also gave me a chance to reconnect with several cousins that I had not seen in years.

In November Australian friends that we had not seen in nearly 20 years spent several days with us, and we had fun remembering good times in Australia and catching up on each other’s lives.

And as the year drew to a close we were blessed to attend a gathering of my father’s extended family hosted by my great-uncle Jerry.  All of my father’s cousins were there (although my father was not), along with many of their kids and grand-kids.   I have such fond memories of these Segar family gatherings growing up, and it is so good to see everyone still connected after all these years.

These past few years we have been blessed with new friendships that we cherish, but 2017 was a reminder of the importance of people who have known you for many years and with whom you have a shared history.  In every case it was as if we had seen each other yesterday, not years or decades ago.

While we often curse social media for its fake news and the way it isolates us from people who don’t share our views, this year we were also really grateful for the way technology can bring us together.  If not for Facebook the rekindling of so many longstanding relationships would not have been possible, and our lives would have been so much less rich as a result.

At the same time, I am very aware that social media consumed way too much of my time in 2017 as I got sucked into scrolling obsessively through Facebook, posting pictures on Instagram, and letting the political noise distract me from what is most important.  This year my goal is to put technology in its rightful place – to use it to strengthen and maintain healthy relationships and to disregard all of the noise that it generates.  Wish me luck!



This past weekend was spent with long-time friends from when we lived in Australia.  Beryl was a colleague of mine – one of two women on the management team of an aluminum smelter, which in itself was enough to create an instant bond of solidarity as we navigated some challenging times together.  The fact that Don and I really liked Beryl and her partner Joe and shared many interests was icing on the cake, and we were soon enjoying many happy times with them and their two children at one of our homes, or at their rustic holiday property in the beautiful Eungella National Park.

We moved home from Australia in 1998, which was the last time we saw Beryl.  Joe and their daughter visited us once, but even that was more than 10 years ago.  We’ve stayed in touch over all of the intervening years, more recently via Facebook, but we were a bit nervous about how spending several days together would go after so much time had passed.

We shouldn’t have worried.  They stepped off the plane, we started talking, and we pretty much didn’t stop for the entire three days they were with us.  It was like we had seen each other yesterday.  We ate lots of good food (they are now vegan, so that was interesting for us!) and lingered at the table drinking copious amounts of wine.  Just like when we were last together no topic was off limits, and we covered health, diet , religion, politics, social issues, climate change and much more.

We have an active social life and enjoy seeing our local friends, but Beryl and Joe’s visit was a reminder of the value of long-time friendships and shared experiences.  Now we are looking forward to seeing them again soon as they spend the next year travelling North America in their Earth Cruiser, and maybe in Australia after that.

That old saying that friendships are like wine and get better with age really is true!